SANCTUARY
Because sometimes you are down and in
the cauldron of transformation—
deep in the fertile darkness
where the underground waters flow—
and you feel you’ve been
here for an eternity.
*
You’ve met your demons and angels.
You’ve unspun spells and curses—
and unraveled the beliefs
that kept you wedded to the past.
You’ve spit out
the bitter poison
of your own resentments.
*
The holy waters
of forgiveness have flowed through
and soothed the raw places
in your soul. You’ve let your love
out of all of the boxes—
and untethered your spirit
from the anchors of safety.
*
You have even seen
the great shining sea
where your ancestors rode in
on their galloping horses
bringing gifts.
And now, you say, now
you are ready
for the next chapter—
*
you are ready to arrive back
in the outer world
back into the upper world
to return with the gifts
from the fertile darkness.
*
You come to the gates, eager—
And yet still, the beloved turns you back.
No darling, it’s not yet time—
there is more here.
Stay in this alchemical vessel,
the good part is just beginning!
*
You put your ear to the ground.
press your belly against the earth’s belly—
you, who are the cocoon whose
butterfly cannot be rushed.
And you realize it’s the very resistance
to being down and in,
the very attachment to the one of you
who lives in the shiny world
that you are being asked to release.
*
And you recognize the one of you
who would come up and out
of the belly of earth before
you are fully cooked
in these divine juices.
*
For no, it is not theold one of you
who rises, Oh Lazarus. It is the one
of you who is so much older than that.
It is the one who remembers
the first instructions written
in your own bones. It is the one
who knows the codes~
*
It is the one who can turn
all the lights on in the house—
not because you are afraid of the dark,
but because you have finally
learned that this is not a waiting place
not a place to eternally endure—
but the sanctuary
of the Holy One
with 10,000 names.