RIVER OF AWE

When they ask where you have been, say you have been swimming 

in the River of Awe again—dropping skins to arrive here, 

to be bathed and reborn in this starlit current. 

*

Some of the most difficult work we will do in our lives—

is to retrieve joy from the clutches of bitterness.

*

There is a choice along the path—the many crossroads. 

Will the crucible of living soften you, or simply thicken the armor?  

*

In a recurring childhood dream—I stand at the edge of the sea—

watching a mountain of a wave surging towards me. In that moment, 

I know just how to turn my body inside out to create an opalescent shell.

So that when the wave crashes, I tumble unharmed in the wild foam. 

*

A teacher says to me, perhaps it is time to let go of that dream—

for now you know you are the sea itself. 

*

When the fierce visitor of dis-ease has come to reside in your own body, 

in your own mind-heart—you must learn how to receive 

the teachings and let the teacher go. It is only the raft 

to the other side of midnight. To the other side of the wounded self.

*

A revelation—to see that your story is not as personal as it all seems.

That the gods are not out to get you. Nor are they here to save you. 

*

It’s more elemental than that—this body a landscape where storms 

wash away entire canyons before the sun rises again over green shoots.

Yes, this map of you is rewritten over and over by these elements

that shape you, as they shape the mountain.

*

Go to the River of Awe and let the waters clear the pain 

of the small self. You may feel the disorientation of this—of unhooking 

from the familiar habit of you. And yet there you are emerging—

the light streaming off your skin. 

*

You were given this Oracle long ago. 

There is an Intimacy with life you are offered. 

It requires everything of you. 

Even the surrender of the story of the life 

you thought was yours to live.